The Middle of the Month, The Middle of the Mess
I almost didn’t write a blog for April.
Not because I didn’t have anything to say…
But because nothing felt finished enough to share.
And that’s the thing about living the change no one really prepares you for:
You’re in it…
before you understand it.
There’s this idea that growth should feel clear.
That once you start setting boundaries, choosing yourself, or doing things differently…
Everything should click into place.
But what I’m learning right now is this:
Growth actually feels a lot like standing in the middle of something unfinished.
Mid-April doesn’t feel like a fresh start.
It doesn’t feel like a breakthrough moment.
It feels like:
Replaying conversations in your head
Wondering if you said too much… or not enough
Holding a boundary… and then sitting with the discomfort of how it landed
Not rushing to fix it
But also not fully feeling confident yet
And if I’m being honest…
That space?
The in-between?
It’s uncomfortable.
But it’s also where something important is happening.
Because being anchored doesn’t mean you’re 100% sure.
It means you’re choosing not to abandon yourself
even when things feel uncertain.
And being embodied doesn’t mean you always feel confident.
It means you’re staying present in who you are becoming
instead of shrinking back into who you used to be.
I think a lot of us are used to only celebrating the “after.”
The healed version
The confident version
The version that has it all figured out
But there’s a version of you right now…
The one second-guessing
The one learning
The one trying something new and not smoothing it over afterward
That version deserves to be seen too.
Because this?
This is what living the change actually looks like.
Not a glow-up.
Not a perfectly worded boundary.
Not a clean, aesthetic transformation.
But real, imperfect, sometimes uncomfortable growth
that you don’t backtrack on.
So if April feels messy for you…
If you’re somewhere in the middle of becoming…
You’re not behind.
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re just in the part of the story
where things are still unfolding.
And maybe that’s the point.
If this resonates with you, I created pieces like Anchored & Embodied as a reminder you can wear on the days this feels harder.
Not because you’ve mastered it…
But because you’re living it.
